Saturday, September 03, 2005

You know, god forbid I let my life get too stable. I'm not sure why not--I like stable. I like boring. It gives you time to try other things. Better than a life of needless drama.

But no, I have to upset my perfectly stable, calm life.

Not to mention, instead of moving forward, I'm moving backwards. Or, perhaps, in circles. I'm back where I was three (four?) years ago. Of course, I'm not really back, because it's completely different and all. And I'm not really "there" as much as I was visiting. But now my mind's stuck there again. How could I have possibly thought this would be better?

Now instead of being content, supported, and happy...I'm tired, slighly hungover, and more confused than ever.

I suppose my perennial problem is that I'm always trying to skip some stage of my life. (Was that repetitive...perennial...always?) I think the unfortunate truth is that I have to live through certain things, and try certain things, and fail at certain things. And then I get the knowledge--not now. All I need is time...

Ha, and you know how patient I am.

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