wine, beer, and tequila

Perhaps I should try NOT going out on Thursday night. Last night, of the three activities, I had planned, two got cancelled (Which was perfectly okay with me...except that I prefer to cancel...). First, Jeb ended up not being able to hang out, as he was stuck in a boring deposition. Then, Eric apparently decided we weren't going our last night, as he didn't text me back. Go figure. But I didn't care.

Because I didn't want to leave dinner. Naomi came over and cooked (she normally does this on Wed, but she had to finish her thesis Wed night). For once, I was the one who didn't need to work on anything. She got there late, so by the time she showed up to start cooking, I was on my second glass of wine. Near the end of dinner I just started laughing and laughing. Then I realized that that is exactly what happens to my mom when she has a few glasses of red wine, and that made me laugh even more. Bev looked me at me jealously, and said 'I'm so going to be there soon!' and that made me laugh even more. I must've laughed for 20-25 minutes. It was awesome. And the food was really good. Seared tuna and rice rolls.

After dinner, Damy decided we should go to Cheetah. Being slightly typsy, I, of course, agreed. So we went. Strange experience, honestly. First off, I couldn't actualy stand to look at any of the girls dancing due to the really, really bright strobe lights that kept blinding me. Second, I was rather uncomfortable and realized I would be having a lot more fun (a) in a big group and (b) while drunk. Since I had to drive home, I could only have one drink. But, it wasn't anything like I expected it to be. Can't explain how I feel about it. Damy and I mostly observed people, and commented on the girls. After a while, we were "uninspired" so we went home. According to Naomi, Ritz employees get in with no cover to Cheetah. There's something really fucked up about that.

Today's cinco de mayo, but my dumbass club is holding their cinco de mayo party tomorrow night. I bet you that cinco de mayo was commercialized and popularized as an 'American' holiday by tequila and Mexican beer companies. It really is bizarre when you think about a bunch of Americans sitting around celebrating a holiday that has no significance to them. No one even knows what the day is about. It's not a Mexican independence day. Actually, it has to do with winning a battle against France--most Americans have no clue that France ever occupied Mexico. I know because France is one of the '6 flags over TX'. (Spain, France, Mexico, Texas, USA, Confederate).

On the other hand, I am going to a cinco de mayo party, where I will gladly enjoy a few coronas prior to the wall. Lovely.

Indecisive is my middle name

Weird day. I fell asleep on the couch watching Twin Peaks last night. I downloaded and burned the series for Damy. I used to love that show. Daina and I watched the whole thing my first year. Anyway, falling asleep while watching TV is a nice antidote to writing e-mails and thinking about stupid stuff while not being able to sleep. I actually slept better on the couch than I've slept on my bed in the last few weeks. Woke up at 10ish, and went upstairs. Damy yelled at me that the upstairs toilet is broken (downstairs has been fucked for a few days...) and that I needed to call a plumber. I kept thinking I needed to get out of bed and call a plumber and get ready for class. I woke up at 2:30 when Damy called me. Oops.

I ran errands after that. Went to school, paid the dumbest parking ticket I've ever gotten, filled out forms, signed up for graduation cruise. I dropped a bunch of shit off at the free table. Yesterday, when I was being bored, I decided to clean out my closet. I threw away these black boots that I've worn to so many PCPs it's ridiculous. Black boots and my jean skirt. I need to find a new outfit, lol. Actually, I haven't worn the black boots in years. Way too uncomfortable. Which is why I gave them away.

I was supposed to go out with Eric, the bartender I met at Daruma, but that didn't happen. Which I was okay with, because there's few things I enjoy more than watching TV with a good friend while drinking beer and eating junk food. We're supposed to go out tomorrow night. Jeb is in town in the afternoon, then I'm having dinner with Naomi, Braja, and Damy. Then a "date" with Eric. Busy day. Maybe I should get to sleep, since it's supposed to start with work at 9am. And, I was going to present my paper (a.k.a. the 2nd chapter of my thesis) in class. Ooops, I guess I'll do that next week, as I'm not really prepared. I could just skip class and put in some hours at work. Maybe that's dumb too, I dunno. Going to class just seems so silly. And since I'm not working next Tuesday (I'll be in ORlando), I could really use the hours.

Maybe. Dunno.

There is possibly no word that describes me more than 'indecisive.' I usually end up taking the path that requires no extra effort. In this case, that means NOT class.

I'm starting to read a book by Salman Rushdie. Because I can read again. Woot. And I got my GRE study book. The vocab works are ridiculously fun. (I'm a freak.)

"I'll say goodbye, love..."

"One blaze of glory..." I love this song. [Sorry, those two quotes are from different songs. I'm feeling quotey tonight...]

Now that the weekend's over, I'm kinda back to going crazy over having nothing to do. I mean there's things to do, but none of them need to be done, and none of them are fun. So it's hard to get up the motivation. I should be exhausted. I got like 4 hours of sleep last night, but instead I don't feel like going to sleep. I feel like I want to do something. Not even that. Maybe just curl up with someone. Too bad Killer's not more of a cuddler.

I want to install Xubuntu on my computer, but I don't want to do it until I finish downloading the things I'm downloading...and burning them to DVDs and all that good bullshit. Except that I'm running out of space on my hard disk (damnit). Besides, redoing my computer, between the backing up, the installing, and the configuring...is a many-hour project. Not something to be started at 10:14 at night. Unless I don't want to sleep much or don't care if I have a usable computer tomorrow.

Sending off soul-baring e-mails always seems like an excellent idea when you're writing them in your head as you try to get to sleep. I always think I can change someone's mind if I write truthfully, but the world doesn't work like that. I know, I know.

I wish I could scrapbook. But I don't have my scrapbook (I think I lost it, and all of the hours of work that went into it), any of my scrapbooking stuff, or really any real photos. Ha. Hmmm, if I were really motivated I would track down some of my old photos on my old hard drive or on some of the backed-up CDs and DVDs I have. And to think I'm about to just add to that again when I redo my computer once again. Not to mention the 4 years worth of crap I have to get off my computer at Mom's next week. Can't forget to bring home the DVD burner.

That's enough with the wistful wishing. I do, luckily enough, have another West Wing episode (Sunday night's got posted late) and in a few hours the shows I didn't watch because I was watching other shows will be posted. And as long as there's TV to watch, life's not SO bad. I'll be out of it by tomorrow, but I guess I'll worry about that tomorrow.

I really wish school were over. It's really hard to work up the motivation to go to classes I don't care about when it doesn't even matter if I attend or not.

Sorry for the excruciatingly boring entry, but I guess that describes my life of late. Not that I mind. Plus, it leaves lots of getting-drunk time. Woot.

Scared of sleep?

I've spent most of the last year, and most of my life for that matter, looking forward to going to sleep. But particularly this last year. I've so looked forward to my 11:30 or 12:30 bedtimes.

The last two weeks I've been dreading sleep, and I have no idea why. Right now, I'm tired, but I'm wound up or something. I don't want to sleep, even though I don't have anything I need or particularly want to do, and I have to work tomorrow. Early. Or not early, if I don't feel like it. (This is the problem with having a job I don't have to go to. Damnit.)

Maybe it's because I haven't been able to get to sleep lately. Except for naps. Naps are okay. And it's the naps either, because it doesn't matter whether I've napped or not. I'm restless or something. Like I need to do something in these next few weeks. I really have a lot going on. I'm not bored. Don't know why I can't sleep. Won't sleep? Don't want to sleep? Grrrrrrrrr.

I do what Laura says

Laura says that if she's going to link to my blog, I have to actually update my blog. Since the majority of my time these days is spent downloading, burning, and watching TV...oh...and getting drunk...I can probably sqeeze in some regular updates.

I'm done with my bacc and my thesis and all that bullshit...so that's cool. I don't think it's really hit me that I'm leaving this place. This summer is going to be frickin' boring. Well, maybe not. The only person that is actually leaving right after graduation that I hang out with regularly is Laura. Everyone else will still be here. But how I will miss my Monday night coffee dates. I realized when I was driving her home today that I was going to have to miss the next (last) two, as I will be out of town. So we're going to reschedule for another day. Coffee dates are important enough to reschedule.

I had a weird weekend. As Damy was eager to point out, I got drunk 3 out of 4 days. That was the goal, so I guess it's good. Until Damy dragged me out Thursday night I was moping around the house freaking out that I had nothing to do. I feel much better now. I gave the bartender my number on Thursday night, and he called, but by that point I had already lost my phone. On Friday I went to Laura's bacc, and then out to lunch, and showed up to work way late at like 1:30ish. There was a note from my Mom saying that some guy named Bart had my cell phone. I proceeded to call Bart, who attempted to hit on me via my cell phone. He asked for my number. Apparently Bart is not intelligent enough to realize he could've gotten my number off my phone. I did not give it to him. Friday night, I left work and stopped by the condo where this Bart fellow works (I didn't know people were really named Bart) to get my cell phone. I get home, and who pulls into the parking space next to me? No one other than Mr. Michael Gimignani. I'd put his middle name too, but I don't remember it. Something very italian, I think. Apparently he saw my car, and followed me home. Weird. So we sat around and talked for 3ish hours. It was...weird. I haven't seen him once since long before I dropped out of school. That was 2003. He has stopped lying. I got to ask him questions like 'how old are you' and 'how many siblings do you REALLY have'. Quite funny. I gave him a Swiss Missile Crisis (anyone else want one? they're fab, Jeb gave me like 10 of them) and parted...uh...civil?

My weird night continued as Sarah Stamper showed up at the wall. We ended up hanging out all night and talking about all kinds of weird shit, new and old. Turns out her boyfriend has an apartment in the very building in Manhattan that I'm moving into. Weird.

So, it was a productive weekend. I relived three years in one night, and that was tiring, but it's good. Putting all my New College demons to rest, I guess. It's nice to leave things in a peaceful way. I'm glad to be done, but I can still wax nostalgic. (I've been wanting to use that phrase all night!)

I still think this summer's going to suck, though. I wish I didn't have to work. For the first time in my life, working seems like such a frickin' drag.

So there. That's a pretty good update. Right?

Well, I've stopped journaling in recent months. Completely. I'm not sure why. I began journaling seriously when I was 14 (if you don't count a few middle school stints or my first elementary diaries with the little locks). I don't know why I stopped when I moved back to FL, but I did. So I need to fix that.

My thesis is being mean today. That's making today worse than the usual Sunday. I don't like Sundays because (a) I have to work for 10 hours. And it drags... (b) tomorrow is Monday, and this Monday I have a paper due. But Monday is also my unofficial deadline for doing work on my thesis each week... and finally, (c) the mail doesn't come on Sunday.

So instead of working on my thesis, I've spent the last 4ish hours playing around on MySpace...it's a good time waster, but it's sooooooo slooooooow.

I don't really have anything interesting to say anymore...

Rent

So, just got back from New York and I don't feel like doing anything but watching Rent again. Which is obviously something I DON'T need to do. I've become very obsessed with it. That always seems to happen to me when I'm feeling down...I get obsessed with fictional characters and fictional worlds. I think that's why I indulge in TV so much. It's a nice way to escape.

I figured out why I like Roger so much...it's not that he's so pretty (although he's fairly pretty), but that in the story he's sad and will never love again, and Mimi is that ONE girl for him, that could make him love again...and every girl wants to be THAT girl. That one girl that can do that for the boy...

Ahh...loneliness sucks...

I'm trying to figure out what to do to cheer me up, but maybe I'll give up and do some economics. It doesn't really matter whether I do it or not.